This piece is about the state of conflict in which many men live: how they feel versus who society tells them to be. This internal struggle causes extreme levels of anxiety around straight male sexuality-, gender-, and self-expression, and is caused by societal expectations that generalize all male experiences as being one journey.[1] I critique these expectations, showcase the resulting anxieties, and ultimately depict a journey of personal growth through a set of six digital paintings.
Creating this piece digitally is the best way to then be able to present it digitally, which is important in order for my message to be able to reach as many people as possible and therefore create a bigger impact than any other presentation method. The format would lend itself nicely to being presented in many online formats such as an Instagram slideshow, Tumblr post, Facebook gallery, and so on. Further, society perpetuates its expectations through the media, therefore I will challenge them through the same channels. The number of paintings in the artwork is necessary in order to properly portray the narrative at hand; it is important to show the problem, have the two transitionary paintings for the sake of pacing, and to show the solution.
Breakdown
The first two paintings show our male protagonist engaging in two activities that society demands from men in order for them to prove their masculinity: being highly sexually active, and being violent/aggressive.[2][3] In his book, How Can I Get Through to You?, Terrence Real explains how “men are not raised to be intimate; they’re raised to be competitive performers. … The paradox for boys is that in order to be worthy of connection they must prove themselves invulnerable”.[4] It is hard for men to create deep connections because they have been taught that the only feelings they are allowed to have are anger and indifference. On the TV reflected in the mirror behind our protagonist in the first painting, a shot from Brian De Palma’s gangster film “Scarface” is seen: an allusion to one of the connections that gender violence educator Jackson Katz has made in that, “if the only representation of men in the media is one thing, and that one thing is gangsters and violence, then that defines [a young boy’s] definition of a man.”[5] Behind the man in the second painting, a woman is seen with her hands up and a horrified expression on her face—body language indicative that she is against what she is reacting to (in this case, a man being brutalized). As evidenced by her appearance in several paintings in this work, it can be deduced that she is in some way emotionally connected to our protagonist (by ways of romantic interest, for example). Her consistently being depicted behind the man represents the societally perpetuated idea of real men needing to do everything on their own, being self-reliant, and not listening to anyone else/being told what to do. This is seen in how he is consistently turned away from her, clearly not paying her any mind despite her being this reoccurring presence in his life.
The third painting shows our protagonist in a state of turmoil. A single tear is seen having run down his cheek, suspended in a snapshot of time just before it drips away and disappears. He stares at his bloody knuckles (from the fight, presumably), or perhaps his hand is opening in a hesitant reach towards his mask which is now seen to be fraying away at the edges. Is he upset about the fight? Is he merely in pain? Or is he frustrated by this mask he feels has been forced upon him? Society has conditioned him to keep these emotions secret and hidden away, so instead of confiding in the woman he isolates himself to this dark room to deal with it by himself. Behind him, an assortment of objects and furniture decorate the room. Closer to the side of the woman, there is an unlit fireplace, atop of which sits a stuffed teddy bear which foreshadows the child seen in the last painting. The woman’s side of the painting represents an appeal to the man’s humanity through its depictions of a fireplace, chairs, the teddy bear, and photo frames (all of which are implemented in familial settings and which become more clearly recognizable in the last painting). Perhaps this is something else causing him inner turmoil. On the other side, a women empowerment poster has been covered up in favor of those which depict male domination over women. This is because “domination and control, especially over women, are essential values in patriarchal masculinity.”[5] Below the posters are books—possibly magazines—accompanied by a set of dumbbells. Are the two related? Perhaps one is a reaction to the advice of the other. Media is a powerful influence.
The fourth and fifth paintings show a transitioning state of struggle and acceptance. The man attempts to peel of his mask, but he cannot do it alone. Hands are seen supporting his arms, aiding him in his task. He does not fight the assistance. The background might be a representation of his mind fighting between traditional masculinity (the colour blue) and being who he truly wants to be (the colour purple, a secondary colour between the two primary colours blue and red which are often gendered male and female respectively). In the fifth painting he has now embraced (emotionally and physically) outside help. It is not the help of his reoccurring female companion, however, because more than anything it is often another man which can inspire change. In his TED talk, actor Justin Baldoni revealed how by displaying vulnerability himself, he was able to give permission for another man to do the same, and that “all [the man] needed was another man to hold him accountable and create a safe space for him to feel,” and that “the transformation was instant.”[6] It is a lot harder to change oneself and challenge societal norms than it is to continue on in the same ways one has been indoctrinated into.
The last painting is an image of hope. It shows the man engaging in a loving embrace with a (his?) child and the (his?) woman. He looks relieved, his muscles still bulging as prominently as ever through his long-sleeved purple shirt. The retention of one’s manhood and one’s humanity do not have to be mutually exclusive. In the words of Baldoni, “men don’t need to stop being men, but they need balance.”[7] Perhaps he has started to realize that “true power is measured in having control over one’s life,”[8] and that being a slave to a script someone else wrote for you is the opposite of this. True confidence, power, and strength is the ability to be unabashedly and authentically yourself, no matter the opposition. It is the weak who conform, and the result of insecurity to seek outside validation. Being uninhibited by the crushing gaze and judgements of others is wonderfully liberating, and is something everyone should strive for. It is these messages which I wish to impart on the viewer.
[1] Khadija Mbowe, “For the boys?”, YouTube video, 39:13, November 13, 2020, https://youtu.be/mQ24UTG9ZC4.
[2] Jackson Katz as quoted in Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity, directed by Sut Jhally (1999; USA: Media Education Foundation, 2002), https://ucalgary.kanopy.com/video/tough-guise-0.
[3] Mbowe, “For the boys?”.
[4] Terrence Real as quoted in Mbowe, “For the boys?”.
[5] Jackson Katz as quoted in Jhally, Tough Guise.
[6] Mbowe, “For the boys?”.
[7] Justin Baldoni, “Why I'm done trying to be ‘man enough’”, posted by “TED”, January 3, 2018, YouTube video, 18:31, https://youtu.be/Cetg4gu0oQQ.
[8] Baldoni, “Why I'm done trying to be ‘man enough’”.
[9] Mbowe, “For the boys?”.
References
Baldoni, Justin. “Why I'm done trying to be ‘man enough’". YouTube video, 18:31. Posted by “TED,” January 3, 2018. https://youtu.be/Cetg4gu0oQQ.
Jhally, Sut, dir. Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity. 1999; USA: Media Education Foundation, 2002. https://ucalgary.kanopy.com/video/tough-guise-0.
Mbowe, Khadija. “For the boys?”. YouTube video, 39:13. Posted by “Khadija Mbowe,” November 13, 2020. https://youtu.be/mQ24UTG9ZC4